why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
