I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
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