If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
