We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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