At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm sobbing to NWA
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
