I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
