This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
