Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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