We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
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You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
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we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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