So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Randomize
