do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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