They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
