i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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