fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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