Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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