wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
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