Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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