Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
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