you're like a bully in the Christmas story
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
