She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
