Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
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I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
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It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
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