Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(213): View more from California

she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.

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(646): View more from New York

party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.

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(862): View more from New Jersey

Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.

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(858): View more from California

Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.

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27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Read it at the TFLN blog
(343): View more from Ontario

STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.

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(916): View more from California

this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning

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(585): View more from New York

He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...

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