WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.