Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)

  (586): View more from Michigan

  It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie

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  (586): I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching (586): Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please) (586): It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie http://tfl.nu/o2c2
  Replies (6) Good night (808) Bad night (1145)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.

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  (204): you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested. http://tfl.nu/msf1
  Replies (13) Good night (5543) Bad night (980)
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  (631): View more from New York

  we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"

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  (631): we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!" http://tfl.nu/dw66
  Replies (15) Good night (3388) Bad night (925)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain

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  (708): He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain http://tfl.nu/7dwy
  Replies (4) Good night (3160) Bad night (902)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.

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  (254): she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared. http://tfl.nu/cseo
  Replies (9) Good night (3104) Bad night (1003)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.

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  (520): The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears. http://tfl.nu/pc9j
  Replies (11) Good night (2682) Bad night (851)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.

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  (724): Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote. http://tfl.nu/ighh
  Replies (26) Good night (3957) Bad night (1617)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes

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  (303): idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes http://tfl.nu/2i45
  Replies (2) Good night (970) Bad night (573)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA

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  (413): They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA http://tfl.nu/xggi
  Replies (3) Good night (1086) Bad night (507)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.

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  (513): It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world. http://tfl.nu/7ety
  Replies (4) Good night (1329) Bad night (420)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying

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  (312): I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying http://tfl.nu/bo49
  Replies (7) Good night (1016) Bad night (476)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.

  (509): View more from Washington

  you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left

  (971): View more from Oregon

  goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan

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  (971): I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH. (509): you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left (971): goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan http://tfl.nu/bxrp
  Replies (4) Good night (1385) Bad night (338)
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  (408): View more from California

  I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed

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  (408): I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed http://tfl.nu/4u9t
  Replies (0) Good night (499) Bad night (203)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo

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  (937): On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo http://tfl.nu/dcwu
  Replies (2) Good night (346) Bad night (586)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  I round house kicked her emotions in the face

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  (785): I round house kicked her emotions in the face http://tfl.nu/nnqe
  Replies (3) Good night (656) Bad night (418)

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