Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??

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(248) i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem?? http://tfl.nu/bwq7

Replies (14) Good night (3510) Bad night (1023)
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(440): View more from Ohio

i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth

(330): View more from Ohio

well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth

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(440): i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth (330): well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth http://tfl.nu/ms7e

Replies (25) Good night (4985) Bad night (547)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!

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(508): i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah! http://tfl.nu/c18w

Replies (10) Good night (3385) Bad night (1054)
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(607): View more from New York

i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?

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(607): i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life? http://tfl.nu/2cyx

Replies (27) Good night (909) Bad night (5077)
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(847): View more from Illinois

you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.

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(847): you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life. http://tfl.nu/71wd

Replies (25) Good night (12887) Bad night (1140)
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(614): View more from Ohio

My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex

(1-614): View more from Ohio

You and your mom would make an amazing tag team

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(614): My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex (1-614): You and your mom would make an amazing tag team http://tfl.nu/l8wh

Replies (23) Good night (8008) Bad night (1250)
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(330): View more from Ohio

He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating

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(330): He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating http://tfl.nu/fig2

Replies (7) Good night (2663) Bad night (2319)
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(302): View more from Delaware

just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.

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(302): just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach. http://tfl.nu/5cxr

Replies (3) Good night (2737) Bad night (718)
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(970): View more from Colorado

I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.

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(970): I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat. http://tfl.nu/yfuv

Replies (13) Good night (2201) Bad night (1201)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.

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(843): I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship. http://tfl.nu/ax7l

Replies (33) Good night (1479) Bad night (2970)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid

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(405): I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid http://tfl.nu/bd90

Replies (6) Good night (1115) Bad night (694)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.

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(860): Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta. http://tfl.nu/gtno

Replies (12) Good night (570) Bad night (2415)
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(909): View more from California

Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"

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(909): Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead" http://tfl.nu/uxql

Replies (4) Good night (839) Bad night (386)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.

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(215): my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue. http://tfl.nu/4yma

Replies (0) Good night (573) Bad night (257)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam

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(402): I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam http://tfl.nu/zq91

Replies (3) Good night (173) Bad night (539)

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