She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?