I could make wine with my vomit
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
