Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
