that's an acceptable place to lick
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
