I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
