Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
