My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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