i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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