It was confusing and full of hummus
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
