Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
