Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
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that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
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I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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