they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Randomize
