He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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