Got a toothbrush?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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