don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Please, let me fuck your mom
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
i out mim tonsoeep
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
