One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
