I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
