you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Randomize
