i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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