I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
