It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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