1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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