Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
