Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
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