Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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