i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
