he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize