let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
