Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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