Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize