How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
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Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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