After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
