Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
This is the high leading the old right now
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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