Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Less talking, more tequila
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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