So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
