I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
