mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
