I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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