You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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