I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
